The Devil and Simon Petrikov
by Kal-El Fornia
Summary: As he's losing the battle for his sanity, Simon Petrikov is willing to do anything to save it. Even if that means making a deal with the Devil.


One thing I've noticed about the Adventure Time archive? Too much romance. I'm all for romance, I've written a good deal of it myself, but I decided to do something different for this fandom. I've already written a story about the Lich called _**The Dark One**_, and I figured that after shooting the admins an email to add Hunson Abadeer as a character on this site, that I should write a story that's mainly him as well.

I want to give this archive a taste of something different.

Disclaimer: I don't own Adventure Time.

* * *

"You want me to cure you?"

It was an odd thing for Hunson Abadeer to behold, that a human, or at least something that had once been human, had managed to find it's way into the Nightosphere. Not only had it traversed his burning land of anarchy, but the creature had even managed to bypass all of his demons. Needless to say, the great Hunson Abadeer was impressed, and simply watched curiously as the blue creature in front of him answered his question.

"Yes."

It was a simple enough answer, but one that had been given with a defiant and yet desperate sounding voice. As Hunson Abadeer sat on his throne, he studied the blue creature and considered what it was asking for. Usually, only demons would have been granted his favor, but the Lord of Evil decided that this case in particular was special. Ice magic was a very dangerous weapon if used correctly.

"As if your madness is a curse or a sickness?"

He watched as the blue creature shuffled awkwardly in front of his throne for a moment, before it looked back up to stare him right in the face. Hunson Abadeer saw the creature's reaction to his words, and remembered that he had seen that same look on the face of a man named Faust whom he had met millennium ago during the sixteenth century.

"Can you do it?"

It looked so desperate that Hunson Abadeer reconsidered for a moment the answer that he was about to give. The face it was giving him was a pathetic one. It was a face that was reminiscent of Giuseppe Tartini's when he had visited visited the composer in his dreams, before the Devil's Trill Sonata had been written and performed for the very first time.

"I can, but I won't."

The creature dropped to it's knees, something that the Lord of Evil wasn't sure was out of resignation or in preparation for further desperate pleas, and it kept on staring with those tearing miserable eyes.

"Please."

He had heard that same cracking word from Urbain Gradier before the French priest had been burned at the stake.

"I refuse."

Just as he had with Urbain Gradier as the latter had begged for his life.

"Why? Why can't you give me this?"

Hunson Abadeer had given many what they had asked for in his long unending life, but each gift had come at a very high price. Said price being something that many, like Daniel Webster, had tried refusing to pay.

"Chaos."

Tom Walker had also tried to refuse, but in the end Hunson Abadeer had taken him anyways; forcing him to live up to his end of the bargain. As the blue creature had a confused look come upon his face, the Lord of Evil felt a rare sympathy for the twisted, yet powerful, being.

"Chaos?"

This creature's request would not be granted, though in turn it's soul would remain intact. Hunson Abadeer thought that maybe there would be a day where the creature's soul would be able to reunite with the other missing one with whom it belonged.

"Everything is chaos, Simon. As a former human you should know that best. The bombs, the Great Mushroom War, my Nightosphere, your own irradiated world, your own madness," he paused as he pondered for a second what he was about to say. It was the one defining subject that codified what exactly he was trying to teach the blue creature, "the human soul. It all stems from chaos."

"So you won't help me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what do you mean?"

Bob Dylan had said those same confused words before, on the day that the musician had first made contact with the Lord of Evil. Hunson Abadeer still fondly remembered the way that Dylan had kept referring to him as the Chief Commander before being granted the ability to create that beautiful music with which he had touched generations. The Lord of the Nightosphere had almost felt regret the night when he had claimed Dylan to take him to, as the musician had called it, the world which humans can't see.

"What do you know of the human soul?"

The blue creature's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember something which he had paradoxically tried so hard to forget. The creature's mind became clouded by illogical thoughts and painful almost memories, something that the Lord of Evil felt the odd sympathy for, and he began to hit himself in the head since he wasn't able to recall what a soul was.

"I don't remember."

Hunson Abadeer simply nodded. Not even in the times of humankind did humans remember their souls.

"In the days before the bombs fell, humans thought that souls returned to God after death."

"What is God?"

"That's a question that no one has ever been able to answer, Simon. Though, that didn't stop them from going to war over it."

"They went to war over a question?"

"Humans have gone to war over many things. Glory, land, vengeance, hatred, love, lust, the name of God, but one thing always remains the same. War, like everything else that humans have ever touched, is chaos."

"But I don't want this chaos or this madness! I want peace of mind, I want,"

Not wanting to hear anymore of the blue creature's babbling, not wanting to take it's soul either, Hunson Abadeer interrupted it with something that he knew would catch it's attention.

"Betty?"

The blue creature's eyes began to shine, as if it had just felt happiness for the first time in it's life, and oddly enough, it was a sight that pained the Lord of Evil. He too had felt the sting of losing a loved one.

"Do you know where she is?"

The creature's eyes shone so brightly, and it was just as painful to Hunson Abadeer to extinguish that light as the night in which Bob Dylan had played his final song.

"The Land of the Dead."

* * *

I like writing one-shots. Maybe something about Death or the Cosmic Owl next?

Also, check out some Bob Dylan. If you haven't heard of him then you have bad taste, and you should feel bad.

Lmao, just kidding. Seriously though, check out his music. Maybe Blowin' in the Wind if you're a first-timer?


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